“For some loners, a paucity of friends is a matter of time. There is simply too much to do alone, no time to spare. Shared time, while not entirely wasted if the sharer is a true friend, must be parceled out with care, like rationed flour. And time shared, even with true friends, often requires loners to put in extra time alone, overtime, to recharge. It is a matter of energy: As a rule, loners have less for the social machinery, the talk and sympathy. Our fuel runs out. This is what nonloners don’t understand about us, what they cannot see. We do not choose to have such tiny fuel tanks. These can be quite inconvenient. They are why we seem rude, when we do, why we seem bored and often are. Spaced-out and often are. Running on empty. Not heartless. Not unappreciative. Not fools. We know the rest of the world has big tanks. We know they don’t know.”—
“Because he did not look up to ask if it pleased he did it all for himself inside, and it strengthened him, and yet he did it for her, too. But he did not do it for her at any loss to himself. He gained by it all through the afternoon.”—Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises (‘Fiesta’)
Humans are comfortable with familiarity and when it comes to friendship we look for traits that we subconsciously detect in ourselves. Manipulative people are attracted to others who are manipulative, optimistic people are attracted to others who are optimistic, intolerable people are attracted to others who are intolerable, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
So if people are constantly drifting in and out of your life, it probably means that you’ve grown as a person and are seeking different qualities in different people. It’s all a part of evolution. Do not mourn your loss, but celebrate your gain. :)
“Planning is an unnatural process; it is much more fun to do something. The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise, rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.”—Sir John Harvey-Jones (via lizmcdaniel)